


Running

by Kaitley



Category: iCarly
Genre: Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-08
Updated: 2011-12-13
Packaged: 2015-03-16 10:38:20
Rating: T
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,730
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7159549/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3042457/Kaitley
Summary: Sam can't take it anymore. Her life is falling to pieces. So she keeps running. From her problems, her mistakes, her hopes, her dreams. But he knows this. He knows that she is slowly breaking down. And he will do anything to help her, to save her.





	1. Time is of the Essence

**Hey guys! Usually I won't be updating so soon with new stories and such… but I couldn't help myself! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I disclaim.**

She was a rush of blonde curls, with blue eyes so fiery that you could see the passion hidden beneath them. But she was also hiding. Freddie knew that behind her beautiful self, there was something she was hiding from. Feelings she could never let go of. Feelings that would come out in a single burst of emotion. Time was of the essence.

Every day she had put a mask on, a face of toughness. Even to her closest friends, Sam had never opened up to who she truly was. She had unknowingly put up a wall around herself, blocking what had happened and could not be undone. All for him to notice her.

She tried so hard for him to notice her, but to her it could never be enough. In all truth, Sam needed her one true love to see who she really was, but she could never seem to break the spell and take off the mask. Sam was a fighter, denying the truth so thoroughly that it sometimes clouded her vision. She couldn't see what was happening right in front of her face, and told herself she didn't want to.

To Sam, her life seemed to be falling to pieces, like a glass shattered on the kitchen floor. Her mother was always drunk and/or on drugs, her father who-knows-where. Sam always knew that she could never dream of comparing to her ever-perfect twin sister Melanie, who was off at a foreign boarding school. Freddie would never love her. It seemed to Sam that nobody cared about her. She liked to pretend he did, but then told herself it was a lie. How could he? She thought. I constantly abuse him. All she needed was the slightest smile, a gaze that lingers a second too long, anything. Those little things kept her going.

Day by day Sam was becoming nastier. Even her closest friends began to shy away. They were always slightly scared of her, but now they were terrified. Sam knew she had never meant to take her feelings this far. She needed them. She needed him.

Freddie knew Sam. He knew she was a fighter: always denying the truth no matter how much or hard she was telling herself not to. He had always known that for her, being tough was just an act. (An extremely painful act, but all the same. He thought.) But now, Freddie sensed a real problem. Sam seemed to be getting more and more depressed each day, and had come extremely close to breaking down more and more often. She was slowly dying inside. Freddie was sure there was something seriously wrong, and he was determined to find out what it was. Time was of the essence. No matter what, he promised himself, I will be there for her. Little did Freddie know that he was the center of all her problems.

**Whelp… that's the prologue! I have the first chapter already written and am working on the second one. This doesn't have a definite plot…. I'm just going to think of it as I write. Not sure when the chapter will be up: possibly sometime this week. Luv yas! R&R?**


	2. Welcome To My Life

Running - Chapter 1

Welcome to My Life.

**Hello All! Here's the next chapter! I hope you like! **

**Disclaimer: I (still) disclaim.**

Sam woke up at 7:00 in the morning to her iPod playing "Welcome to My Life" by Simple Plan. _The epitome of my life_, Sam thought groggily. "Curse whoever made these pieces of chizz," she muttered to herself as she got out of bed to turn off her speakers, a birthday present from Freddie. Of course, she would never admit how much she loved hi- the speakers. _Yeah, that's it, the speakers_, she thought to herself. The mere thought of Freddie sank her into deep depression. She vaguely could make out her mother yelling at her new boyfriend to get out of the house. _Probably so my mom can sleep with another man._ She sighed internally. Sam bet a whole ham her mother went to the bar last night. Heck, she KNEW she did. _Did we REALLY have to move right down the street from one?_ She thought to herself.

Sam got up, showered, and ate breakfast. She put on mascara and eyeliner and curled her hair. She sighed and hoped that he would notice her. In her brain, she doubted it, but in her heart, she hoped he did. Sam tried to look her best all the same. At 7:30, she went over to the Shay's house. She picked the lock on the door with her bobby pin at 7:45, hoping that he wouldn't be right there. Thankfully, Freddie had not arrived yet. Carly just said "hi Sam" and continued cooking bacon over the stove. Of course, Sam was thinking about HIM. Her daydreams were interrupted when the smell of bacon penetrated her nose. Freddie and bacon: the two loves of her life. _Thank goodness bacon wasn't a real person. I would have a hard time choosing among them,_ Sam concluded.

"BACONN!" she screamed, running through the doorway of the apartment and almost knocking Carly over, who was holding the plateful of bacon. Leaving all previous thoughts behind, Sam grabbed the plate from Carly and started eating.

As she plopped down on the couch (with her meat of course), Sam started daydreaming once again. This time, however, it was not about him, but about her family. Sam had always wished she had a normal family. _One that all lived together and loved each other. Not four different people with four separate lives. A unit._ She mused, munching on her greasy snack. She had a soft side to her that was only found when h-

"Sam? SAM!" Sam had not even realized Carly had come over and started talking to her.

"WHA? DONT MOVE OR I WILL DO A DOUBLE- FIST DANCE ON YOUR FACE!" Not knowing whom it was, Sam exclaimed, ready to pull one of her invisible ninja moves. (_Hey, it's very useful in tackling nubs_)

Once again interrupting her thoughts, Carly asked patiently, used to Sam's outbursts by now, "Sam? Are you listening?"

"YES!" Sam exclaimed.

"Oh yeah? Then what did I just say?"

"That Greg is soooo cute?" Sam guessed mockingly.

Carly, used also to Sam's early-morning sarcasm, said, "No, I was saying..."

Her words trailed off as she was about to say something else when Spencer yelled from upstairs,

"CAARLY? CAN YOU COME UP HERE? AND BRING THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER?" Carly just rolled her eyes and said she'd be right back. At that time, Freddie entered.

_Wow._ Sam thought. _He looks go- No; she said to herself, I CANNOT be thinking about him that way. Not while he's in the room. How is this going to work out? Could timing be any worse?_

FPOV

"Hey Sam." Freddie said. Boy _does she look beautiful today, he thought. Wait! I'm not supposed to be thinking of her in this way! She abuses me, physically and verbally. She will never love me! _Freddie thought in a panic.

Sam cut into his thoughts by muttering, "nub." _Her adorable way of a greeting. Hold on, what am I saying?._

But wait. Did he hear something in front of that? _Hot? Yeah right. You must be imagining things. Sam never cared about you and never will,_ he tried to convince himself. However, it wasn't working very well. Before he could get any deeper into these thoughts, Carly ran down the staircase and plopped down next to them on the couch.

"Phew!" she said, exhausted.

"What was it this time?" Sam and I chorused monotonously.

"A water bottle."

"How does that even make sense?" I said at the same time Sam exclaimed "How many chizzin' things can Spencer catch on fire!"

Sam glared at me, as if it was the worst crime in the world for me to talk at the same time as her. "That earns you a Texas wedgie later nub.," she said under her breath so only I could hear. _Yup, Freddie concluded, I was definitely dreaming._

**So yup… next chapter (after I finish writing it up) will be up sometime next week/this weekend. Review please?**


	3. Chipmunks vs Squirrels

**Hey guys! I'm soooooo sorry about not updating: I hit a roadblock in writing the next chap… but I have almost overcome it! This is more of a filler than anything, and I'm really sorry about that! I just wanted to include it and I wanted to put up something. And yes, I know I have length problems. The next chap should be longer and in a little while. However, I am going on vacation next week so I will try to get it posted before then. If not, expect it to be up sometime in late July/early August.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I have NO idea how you don't get this by now, but I'm only a 12 year old girl! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! *screams to heavens***

CHAPTER 2-

Part One – Chipmunks vs. Squirrels

A Texas wedgie and plate of bacon later, the iCarly trio made their way to Ridgeway High in Spencer's car: a black Jeep. The car was paint-splattered from an iCarly episode involving angry chipmunks with toothbrushes. Yeah, nobody really liked to talk about it.

In the car, Sam and Freddie kept up with their random bickering as usual.

Freddie: "CMON SAM! We ALL know that chipmunks are better than squirrels!"

Sam: "Yeah, and who's 'ALL' of us? Because last time I checked, your opinion doesn't count."

Freddie: "Uh, yes it does. Squirrels are psychotic! They RUN in front of cars! It's like they WANT a death sentence."

Sam: "Chipmunks are mutant skunks! Squirrels are just running to the road to make faces at UGLY NUBS who DESPISE THEM!"

Freddie: "Well, for your information, a recent study shows th-"

Sam: "NOBODY CARES!"

Freddie: "CHIPMUNKS!"

Sam: "SQUIRRELS!"

Freddie: "CHIPMUNKS!"

Sam: "SQUIRRELS!"

Freddie: "CHIPMUNKS!"

Sam: "SQUIRRELS!"

Finally, Carly, who was texting her friends this whole time, exploded, "GUYS! CANT YOU JUST AGREE FOR ONCE?" she screamed.

"Nah," said Sam. "Freddie's just too much fun to mess with," as she punched Freddie in the arm; hard.

"Ow!" Freddie exclaimed, only half-meaning it. "Nah," he replied, mocking Sam's tone, "Sam's just fun to steal bacon from." As he pulled out a giant-sized Ziploc baggie, taunting her with it.

"Guys, please!" Carly pleaded. "And Freddie, give Sam back her bacon. You know how she gets without it."

"Fine," Freddie said glumly. He had just gotten the upper hand too! (I mean, we ALL know by now that this wouldn't last long and he would get a punch in the stomach for it later... However, it was still nice to have control sometimes!) He handed Sam back her bacon, just as Spencer pulled up to their school.

"Have a great day guys!" yelled Spencer, who is apparently conveniently deaf.

**Thanks for reading! Review? Every time you don't, a little bunny dies, and you don't want that to happen. **

**Oh yeah: and to Dwyn Arthur: there will be some drama here… and yeah, I know I'm not the best writer. I never have been haha. And yes, that was like, the most cliché thing to say ever. But after the next chap. (which does need to be there: it has SOME significant meaning (somewhere)) there will be a nice long one that will get us moving. I just wanted to let you know I appreciate your comments/criticism and I am really trying to take your suggestions and put them into my story. But hey, as I said before, I am 12 (so yeah, not the slightest idea of…. Much of anything.) lol. Thank you for your time! :) (As I sound like a vacuum cleaner salesperson.)**


	4. The Rant

**Hello peoples! Here is Part 2! Yeah sorry about this…. The action is in the next chapter, I PROMISE you will love it. (Well, I hope.) Yeah, this is kinda also a filler, but it explains Sam's feelings. (somewhat)**

**{Insert witty disclaimer that says I DON'T OWN iCARLY!} {well that was easy..}**

**Chapter 2 Part 2**

**The Rant**

She grabbed a piece of pizza from her locker and slammed it shut. School was FINALLY over. Besides, a girl can only stand so many shirtless Gibby's and tech nubs a day. Her thoughts seemed to drift to him too often, and she always had to give herself The Speech.

She did not know how it happened. One minute she hated him, and the next she was gazing into his eyes and thinking of him like bacon. She blamed it on her whacko hormones: every boyfriend she had/guy she had ever known (besides Spencer (who acted like he was 2) and Gibby (who was… well, Gibby.) had used her to get to Carly. Freddie was a genuinely nice guy. He was the only guy had not used her. He was the only guy who cared about her. She kept telling herself he cared about everybody, but the voice in the back of her head said differently.

(Sam's View)

After we kissed, my hormonal teenage brain just took it too far... Right? I mean, the nub is a good kisser, but... Stop Sam! You are a Puckett for god's sake. You shouldn't be holding onto what happening years ago! You dont have feelings for the stupid nub... Even though I would NEVER admit it (and you tell this to ANYONE I will do a double fist dance on your face!) he is my best guy friend. Also, he IS the only dude who didn't use me to get to Carly. Oh, fudge... Carly. The nub still hasn't gotten over her... This is too much work. Momma needs some ham... I just need some time to sort out these feelings... **{A/n sorry if that was confusing… just Sam's view of things}**

Luckily, at this time Carly came up and started talking to Sam.

"Hi Sam!"

"Hey Carls!" Sam replied.

"How was school?"

"Awful."

"I wouldn't expect any less."

LATER

The trio were hanging out at Carly's place (as usual) and drinking lemonade. They were planning the next iCarly episode.

"So guys, I think that we should do "What Am I Sitting On" then "The Idiot Farm Girl" and finish up with some Random Dancing for the last half." Freddie said.

"Sounds good!" Carly replied.

"Sure, whatevs." Sam replied.

"Wanna go get smoothies?" Carly said.

"Sure!" Sam said. "But Fredemame is paying."

"Oh Sam." Carly sighed.

"I wouldn't expect any different." Freddie smirked as the trio departed to get their fruity rewards.

**Ok guys, heres the deal. If I get 1 million reviews in the next 2 seconds, I will post the next chapter tomorrow. (just kidding! But the action will probably start tomorrow… or later today. I'm just WAYY too excited…) review please?**

**Oh yeah! and I would like to give the HUGEST SHOUT-OUT IN THE WORLD! To my friend samandfreddie38. She is SO. AWESOME. She has reviewed my chapters (well most of them… I was too excited so the last one and this one she did not look over) and has done the MOST AMAAAAZING job (did I forget to mention she is an AMAZING author? Like, seriously. Read her stories! You will be so happy.) So thanks so much!**

**Also, with a shout-out to my AWESOME reviewers! (and no, I do not have the energy to think up more adjectives than amazing and awesome.) But seriously, you guys keep me writing! **

**AngieSeddieShipper (sadly I don't speak Spanish…. I will try to run it through a translator later!)**

**Samandfreddie38 (as mentioned above )**

**Kressxblack (love your writing btw)**

**Dwyn Arthur (you are just plain awesome)**

**So thanks guys! And sorry for the wayyyy too long author note. **


	5. Shattered

**Hey guys! Well, I promised the next chapter soon… and here it is! Haha, yes, I do know that it's past 12AM but I couldn't sleep. So, I decided to sneak downstairs, get my laptop, and post this chapter. (ah, what I don't do for fanfiction) **

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I hope you know I don't own iCarly by now. That belongs to Dan. (not my 9 year old brother Dan, Dan Schneider. And yes, I do know I probably didn't spell that right. But its 12AM. No way am I researching that now.)**

**Chapter 3**

**Shattered**

Freddie knew it. He knew he had just made the phone call of his life, and it had exhausted him. He didn't know why he cared so much; after all, she had done to him. But he did. For some unexplainable reason, he loved her. He didn't know how it happened: or even why. All he knew is that he couldn't deny his feelings any longer. It would become harder to contain these feelings as the days passed by. But there was no way he was revealing this to her now. Not while she had to deal with this news.

On Saturday, after a late night trip to the Groovy Smoothie, Sam came home to her house: a large Strawberry Splat in hand. Her mom wasn't there. (As usual.) She was probably in Vegas or something with one of her new "boyfriend of the week." Sam had concluded long ago that her mom used men like some people used tissues: she kept them until she was done with them and threw them in the trashcan. **(a/n yes, I do know that was the WORST analogy in the world, but its 12AM. Maybe later if I become un-lazy (like that will ever happen) I will revise it over.) **Sheraced down the hall to her room in their one-story apartment. Sam ran to check her email for iCarly and SplashFace updates. Instead, she found literally 50 emails crowding up her inbox. The subject lines all said the same thing: "I'm Sorry."

Sam shakily opened up the first email, unsure of what to think. What to feel. She heard her phone ring, but didn't answer it. The email was from Wendy. The message read:

_Dear Sam,_

_I am SOSOSO sorry about your dad! I can't write more right now or I would... My little brother (just pretend she has one ok?) is screaming at our rabid gerbil…_

_Wendy _

Sam stared at the page: confused. She opened up email after email, yet they all said similar things. She deleted them all. Suddenly, her phone rang to tell her there was a message. It was from Freddie. "Oh. Chizz." Sam breathed. Freddie's voice came shakily through her speakers. ** (a/n his message is in italics)**

_Sam,_

_I guess by now you have heard about your father: but nobody has told you the details. The obituary was on SplashFace and in the newspaper. Nobody knows how they got a hold of the information of who he was._

By this point, Sam was confused. (It may have had something to do with not knowing what an obituary was...) Quickly she paused the message and looked it up on . She was stunned what it meant. She dropped her smoothie to the ground, oblivious to the mess it made on the floor. It was a twisted version of her life almost: a big puddle: as unimportant to everyone as a smoothie. Something that could be replaced. Sam was too in shock to stop listening to his message. She needed to know more.

_Your mother never changed from your father's name: and it mentioned you and Melanie were his successors. I know you don't favor pity Sam, but I know your dreams. So I will say it anyway, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have to be put through this. To be in a living hell every day. And now..._

Sam couldn't listen anymore. She was so lost in thought she didn't hear his message until the final paragraph, when she couldn't help but notice that he was almost in tears. His voice jolted her back to reality. His words were all a blur.

_Sam, I will ALWAYS be here for you. Always. Please come over after reading this. I'm worried about you. Carly is on a camping trip with Spencer. Please._

The message ended. Then, it hit her like a brick wall. Her head started to spin. Sam was utterly crushed by the news. She crumpled to her knees and started crying, sobbing even. Sobbing for her family and deceased father. Crying for herself. All these years she had dreamed her dad would come back, that her mom would make up with him, give up drinking. Even that Melanie, her girly-girl twin sister, would come back. They would all be a family again. Sam knew it was an unrealistic dream, but her one glimmer of hope was trampled by darkness. Now, he was dead. Her father, her one dream she had held onto since she was a little kid, was gone. _Gone._ Her dreams were shattered in an instant. All it took was one simple phone call. She never even knew his name.

**MWAHAHA! I told yas the action would begin there… kinda/sorta/maybe. More drama in the next chapters to come. As I said before, I will be leaving for vacation sometime next week for a few days. I will most likely post a chapter before that if I get a lot of reviews/faves/whatevers: just to let me know that people are actually reading this story (lol) Also mentioned before, I will be leaving again in August for a few weeks. There Is a looooong drive down to where I am going, and I will be writing a lot. However, there is no internet, so I will not be able to post chapters. Sorry **

**But please review? So I know that people are actually reading this? And I will post quicker if yah do… so what reason do you have not to?**

**PS sorry for the INSANELY long authors note!**


	6. Used Up and Broken Down

**Hey guys! Here is the next chapter: I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: You really don't get this by now? Really?**

Chapter 4

Used Up and Broken Down

Sam frantically ran to Bushwell: not bothering to take note that it was the middle of the night. She needed comfort, and she needed it NOW. She was unstoppable. Sam crashed into the lobby of Bushwell Plaza and flew up the stairs. Lewbert was so taken aback he could barely speak: this was SAM PUCKETT? He still managed to stutter out "no emotional Sam Puckett's in my lobby!" Sam did not even have the strength to tell him to shut up, so she ignored him and raced the eight flights up to where Carly lived.

Forgetting Carly wasn't home, Sam almost started to bang on her door. In a split second of realization, she knew that even if Carly WAS here, she wouldn't have helped. She wouldn't have felt the same emotion Sam wanted her to. Sam didn't want pity, she wanted somebody to understand her: to love her. And she knew exactly who that person would be. She just couldn't face him now. She simply needed to let her anger out. Her frustration. With every single shaky ounce of strength she had, Sam banged on the Shay's door.

Freddie heard commotion from outside. He knew who it was: he didn't even have to look. He cracked open the front door, in spite of what fear he had that she would see him. In the hall, he saw HER. Her blonde hair was plastered to her shirt with sweat and tears. Yet, he still saw beauty in her: inner and outer. She was furiously kicking the door, awaiting an answer that would never come.

Sam kicked and thrashed about with all her might, not noticing or caring who would be watching. Finally, she gave up. Crashing to the ground, Sam fell into a daze, sobbing about what she had lost and what little she had left.

Freddie was horrified by what he had just experienced. His best friend and love was falling apart before his eyes. But he knew that she needed time; time to heal the now gaping wound. Only then could he let himself be seen. He felt sick to see her this way. But he couldn't help himself, no matter how hard he tried. In a burst of emotion, he rushed out to the hall. Sam only looked up and glared weakly at him through her tears. Freddie tried to hug her, but she resisted. He pulled away quickly. Sam was unable to take these confusing mixed signals on top of her grief, and swiftly pulled herself off the ground. Sam did what by now was natural: she ran. Sam ran down the stairs and out the doors of Bushwell Plaza. Sam ran further than she ever had before, away from her life. From her secrets hopes and dreams. From her love, Sam ran. She ran and didn't look back.

Freddie ran after her. He flew down the eight flights of stairs and out the door, past a screaming Lewbert. He ran down the street as far as he could, until a horrible sight took his breath away.

**A (somewhat) cliffy! lol Thanks to alwayssmiling11 for reading and reviewing my stories! Lol… sadly nobody else did. I'm losing readers: less than 20 people read the last chapter! Sniffle. Is it because I asked people to review? (yup. Totally jinxed it) I didn't mean to be mean or anything. Oh well, sorry for like, pressing my issues on you. **

**One more thing: I don't own "Stronger" by Jennette McCurdy (although I do love the song). The reason I'm saying this is because, if you noticed, this chapter and actually, now that I realize it, the last chapter, have used phrases from this song. Also, this song has been an inspiration on future chapters. Just wanted to letchya know…. Review please?**


	7. Can't Make a Sound

**Hey guys! Here is the next chapter of Running… enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, but I do own a rockin' pair of converse and this frozen raspberry melon Gatorade I'm drinking… mmmm..**

Chapter 5

Can't Make a Sound

_He ran down the street as far as he could, until a horrible sight took his breath away._

Sam ran. She ran as far and as fast as she could. Her mind was tangled up: muddled with thoughts of her broken family and what they would never become. Sam ran faster than she ever had dreamed of before. She just wanted to escape. To get away from this cruel place called earth. Down alleyways and side streets she flew, ignoring the fact that hobos and rapists lurked there at these ungodly hours of the night. Sam ran so fast she didn't notice the black car rushing to meet her as she crossed the formerly silent alleyway: darkened from the night and lit by the stars. All she could sense as the driver slammed on its brakes was black. Darkness and pain. This time, external, unlike the mental battles she had fought against her depression. This was pain like she had never experienced before. She had wanted to escape from this world: and now she was in a way she had never dreamed of. Slipping into unconsciousness, the last things Sam remembered before she was brought into a new world of despair and hopelessness were a black car with shaded windows, the sound of her head hitting the paving stones, and Freddie's face as he rushed towards her.

Freddie bounded around the corner towards Sam, screaming her name every few seconds. He had seen the collision just after it happened. He was so in shock it was almost an out of body experience. Freddie vaguely felt as if he were watching a movie or reading a book. But this: this was inevitable. This was REAL. All Freddie saw was Sam as she crumpled to the ground in pain; and the scene kept on replaying in his mind. His thoughts were focused on her, and her alone. The car had sped away long ago. Ignoring everything else, Freddie raced to her side. He could not stop nor help the horrible thoughts that mixed around in his mind. He was hopelessly lost in a world of despair.

The one thing snapped him back to reality was the sound of his phone ringing. Carly had texted him: her being in a different time zone. (The camping trip was far away) She probably didn't expect him to answer anyways, so he ignored her: having much more pressing matters to attend to at the moment. He would call her later: for all he knew at this time Sam could be dying. Quickly dialing 911, Freddie called the paramedics who said they'd be on their way. He was shaking. Only then had Freddie noticed her condition.

"Sam." he said softly.

Sam had a deep cut on her forehead from falling: blonde curls now stained with blood. Her left arm was at a funny angle: her wrist most likely broken from trying to soften her fall. She was obviously unconscious from falling on the pavement. This was the visible damage that Freddie could see: just barely lit by the pale moonlight. He didn't think he could take the image of her in full light.

Freddie took a handkerchief out of his pocket and quickly bandaged up her head before she could lose too much blood: hands still shaking. Barely after he had, Freddie couldn't take it any longer. He broke down.

Sam looked so peaceful, yet so broken. The look on her face revealed what even daylight could not to Freddie or Carly. She was shattered by the news of her father.

Freddie gently picked up Sam's head and laid it on his lap, stroking her beautiful sunshine-kissed curls. He wanted to say that everything would be okay, that she would be ok. But he couldn't. Freddie didn't know these things for sure himself. He could not lie to her, even if she was unconscious. He could not lie to himself.

He was in shock: paralyzed by what had happened to his best friend. The tears rolled down his face, mixing with her blood and sweat in the alleyway. His mind was cluttered: a chaos of thoughts both good and bad. He could not lose her: he would never live with himself. Freddie was thinking deeply, lost in his own thoughts: completely unaware of the tears silently streaming down his face.

**Thanks to all who faved/alerted.. but most of all thanks to…**

**AngieSeddieShipper – tada! Hope you enjoyed!**

**Alwayssmiling11 – Aww thanks! You're reviews always make me so happy **

**Anonymous-person-who-apparently-doesn't-have-a-name – Your wish has been granted (:**

**For reviewing! I love reviews…**

***On a sad note, I will be gone for most of August, so I will not be able to update. However, I will probably get another chapter or two in before I leave. ***

**Review? For the children? (I saw iWas A Pageant Girl yesterday haha)**


	8. Commotion

**Chapter 6**

**Commotion**

**Hey guys! Happy August 1st! I split up one of my chaps. into two so here is the next chap. (I like to have about 2 or 3 written before I post another one.) It's insanely short but has meaning. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Me no own iCarly. (thankfully my grammar is better than this when I write, huh?)**

**AN's are in bold (:**

**Narrator's POV**

Very soon, the ambulance arrived, along with 2 police cars. Even with their lights flashing in the night, Freddie, being as deep in thought as he was, was oblivious to notice. A kind paramedic interrupted his thoughts.

"Sir, we have to take her to the hospital now.," he said steadily.

"O-Okay" Freddie replied, both uncertain and sad.

Before he could say another word, Sam was being lifted from his arms, strapped into a gurney, and wheeled into the ambulance. Freddie, suddenly snapping to reality and with a sudden burst of confidence, proclaimed, "I'm coming too."

Another paramedic answered this time:

"Sir, there isn't enough room in the ambulance. Perhaps you c-" he was cut off cold by Freddie's glare of hurt and sudden outburst of words.

"Yeah? Well there had better be room for one more." he commanded coldly. But at this point, Freddie didn't care about being harsh. He needed to be there for Sam when she woke up. I_f she wakes up_, Freddie thought with a startle as he forced his way into the ambulance.

The ride was short and relatively uneventful, but that didn't stop Freddie from thinking about what had happened only minutes before.

Freddie was not one to cry easily. He had grown up in the past few years and had toughened up a little. But this was different: this was his best friend. He couldn't stop the sadness that overwhelmed him that night.

He was smooshed in-between two large men, and kept wondering if he would make it out alive too. That almost unconscious thought always brought his mind back to her. From his position, he could not see her, but the image of Sam after the crash was too much to bear. Tearstains streaked his face as fresh tears traced the path of old ones. The other men did not seem to notice this: and they were at the hospital in less than 15 minutes. The panic began. Freddie was almost made a part of the ambulance walls as everybody wheeled Sam out. One medic, one he hadn't noticed before, (there had been a lot of commotion) seemed to be stuck in the same situation. He emerged from behind some boxes **(PRETEND THERE ARE BOXES! I've never been in an ambulance before and don't aspire to anytime soon...)** startling Freddie.

"Man I don't get paid enough for this" he joked. "I'm Mr. Jordan Bolterson. I'm sorry we had to meet on such terms. I am a crime scene detective and paramedic." he extended his hand out for a shake, and Freddie weakly took it. He didn't see how ANYONE could joke under these conditions.

"Freddie Benson" he replied softly, his voice hoarse.

"C'mon. I'll get you into the waiting room."

Freddie was too overwhelmed by emotions to reply, and silently followed the man to the waiting room.

**Ok, next chap. will be up soon: I'm not sure exactly when. Thanks to all who faved/alerted and thanks to **_**Alwayssmiling11 **_**and **_**Seddie is the new purple**_** for reviewing! Next chap will be in Freddie's POV… more action and stuff next chap too! And now I officially know where I'm going with this story! (I mean, not that you cared, but whatever.) Review please, it only takes a minute and will make me so happy (and updating sooner) I work days on these things! (:**


	9. Rugs and Reactions

**Chapter 7**

**Rugs & Reactions**

**Hey guys! This is going to be my last update for a little bit… I'm going on a trip! (There's no wifi… sigh.) Anyways, *important* note at the bottom, so check it out later! Enjoy this chap!**

**Disclaimer: I spent hours on this chapter, I am NOT doing a whole disclaimer. Have a nice day. (P.S. I don't own iCarly.) There. Happy now?**

Freddie's POV

After Mr. Bolterson showed me to where the waiting room was, I sat down in one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs. Sheesh! People have to wait all night on these! Couldn't they just make them a LITTLE more comfortable! I would sooner sleep on the rug. Speaking of the rug, it's the color of vomit. Aren't hospitals supposed to cure people of being sick: not make them sick? And who designed hospitals anyways?... I know, I know: I'm just distracting myself from the truth. It just pains me too much to think about... her. I just can't believe that Sam Puckett, of all people, could be so hurt. I knew she was having a rough time with her home life already (flashback in later chaps): I just didn't know she had that much emotion, and that she could hide it so well from others. That she could be so broken inside and not show it to anyone... It's too sad for words. I just can't grasp the fact that one of my two best friends… All of a sudden, I jumped up, remembering Carly and startling the few people who were half-asleep in the small room. CARLY! I almost shouted. It was 2 in the morning, but there was no time for sleep. I needed her to know as soon as possible. I took out my PearPhone, which had luckily been in my pocket throughout this experience. After hurrying to the men's room, I locked myself in a stall. I dialed Carly's number; silently praying. I couldn't stop muttering Carly pick up! Oh god Carly c'mon!' out of pure desperation and exhaustion. Finally, after a few minutes of continuous ringing, a sleepy Carly answered the phone, blissfully unaware of the pain her two best friends were then in.

"Hello?" a groggy Carly said.

I answered, my voice rough and raw from crying. God I sound terrible. I'm sure I looked as bad as I sounded, too. "C-Carly? Come home now. Sam..." my voice trailed off: I couldn't stop the emotions that came pouring over me.

Carly must have been alerted by the sound of my voice that something terribly wrong had happened, because the next words that came out of her mouth were "Freddie?" Carly asked, coming out of her world of dreams. "What happen-" she was cut off by my raspy voice.

"Just come. Sam..." I took a shaky breath to calm myself down a little bit. "I-I will explain when I figure it out myself. All I know for sure is she got in a car accident - and I witnessed her getting hurt." as much as I hated it, my voice cracked on the last statement.

"Oh my God!" Is she okay? Are you okay?" Carly said. Her voice revealed the shock and sympathy she was feeling, but being good old Carly, there was understanding: even though she had no idea what was going on.

"I don't know yet. Can you come soon?"

"I'll see you tomorrow. Stay strong." and I'll try to do the same she thought silently. Carly's voice came through the speaker of his phone. Even from miles away at 2:30 in the morning, she knew what to say: even not knowing the details of her best friend's injuries. We exchanged goodbyes and she hung up, snapping me back to reality. Now it was just me in the middle of a hospital bathroom, by myself: a broken mess.

Freddie put his head in his hands and sank down onto the floor, contemplating.

Carly's POV

I was OFFICIALLY freaking out now. What had happened? I don't know anything, I didn't want to pressure Freddie. (Who sounds like he was run over by a truck) **(AN oh the irony...)** it's so hard being the nice one sometimes. I hope Sam is okay... I had had a bad feeling all day, but I thought it was just from the raccoon burgers Socko made us eat. **(AN Socko just HAS to tag along on every camping trip does he not?)** But I know Sam will pull through, and so will Freddie. They're strong. They have to.

Narrator's POV

Carly knew she was being delusional, but she also knew something else. In this time of despair, she needed to have strength for those who didn't. A lone tear slipped down her cheek as she thought of the state her friends were currently in.

**Thanks to alwayssmiling11 (you rock and so do your stories!), Seddie is the new purple (I don't care if its makes me happy anyways! (:) and samandfreddie38 (you're the best ever, seriously!) for reviewing!**

**Ok people, so here's the *important* thing I needed to tell ya's. Electricstories96 (who is an AMAZING AMAZING author) is sad. Which makes me sad. Which makes THE WHOLE FREAKIN WORLD SAD! *cough* anyways, the point is, he isn't getting a lot of reviews on his story Fred & Freddie. Now this story is AMAZINGLY well-written, and has a very unique and interesting plotline. But he may not continue it if not many people are reading or reviewing. So yeah people, GO READ AND REVIEW IT! I COMMAND YOU! (also, he wrote another awesome action-type story about seddie called iDidn't Die. Read that.) No seriously people, he is just amazing. So I COMMAND YOU MY LITTLE MINIONS! **

**Review for me too please! Love ya's!**


	10. News

Chapter 8

News

**Hey peoples of earth! (Unless you are PurpleJerk; I'm still not quite clear on WHAT you are. Are you a fuzzy alien banana or what?) Here is the next chap a day early! (I was going to update Saturday.) Enjoy! This is kind of a part 1, next chap up Saturday (if I can get Kai to review it quickly enough (;) Also, Chapter 9 was DELETED from my computer for NO APPARENT REASON! (and just that one!) I rewrote it (luckily I had been reading it before) but it PROBABLY won't be AS good because I didn't spend weeks on it. **

**Disclaimer: What happened to iCarly, you ask? An angry chipmunk stole it from me and gave it back to Dan. WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE!**

Narrator's POV

After a while, Freddie came back to his senses and walked back to the waiting room as if in slow motion. Once again, it felt as if he was merely an observer of a horror movie. He slowly sank into one of the cold hospital chairs, and fell asleep despite the tragic events that had happened only hours before.

Dream:

_They were swimming: swimming in a glassy-looking river with crystal blue-green water. It was just so perfect: too perfect. Something about it just didn't feel right, but before he could say anything, she was already in and splashing around._

_"C'mon Frednub! Just get in the water already! This water is more awesome than bacon!" she shouted, sinking back into the deep water. With little hesitation, he obliged, and soon the two were splashing around, laughing and teasing each other. Suddenly, she was swimming away from him. She was pulled under: reaching out for help and screaming his name. He dove underwater and tried to save her but he could not. He got one last glimpse of her before she was completely pulled under and didn't return. A mental snapshot of her from last night resurfaced in his mind: looking broken and defeated. Somewhere in his heart, he knew he would never see her again. Before he could get out onto the shore, he too was pulled under, never to return again._

End Dream.

Freddie woke up drenched in sweat. Even in his sleep, he could not escape the cold reality. He heard a voice call his name.

"Freddie? Freeddiee?" the girlish voice repeated softly, yet still echoing throughout the small room.

Shaking off his grogginess, Freddie sat up slightly. "Carly!" he stood up and embraced her, cringing at the sound of his voice: still hoarse from sleep and raw from crying.

"Gosh you look terrible!" she exclaimed. "Oops! Sorry I-" she was cut off by Freddie.

"It's ok Carly. I'm sure I do..." he trailed off chuckling nervously and eager to change the subject.

"Well I think the doctor should be by soon to tell us her condition.," she said hopefully. They chatted about random things: anything to take their minds off of Sam until they heard a voice.

"Freddie? Freddie Benson?" it repetitively called out.

"Should we go together or..." he asked.

"No, it's okay." Carly said. "Just tell me when you come back, okay?"

"Okay." he agreed. "Oh god, she had better be okay." he said under his breath; hoping Carly didn't hear. Freddie rose from his chair and rushed over to the doctor, hoping for good news of Sam. "That's me." he replied.

"Please step out in the hall with me.," he said. "Well, I have some bad news regarding Samantha Puckett."

"Sam." Freddie replied.

After several seconds that felt like hours, Freddie was impatient. Was there seriously a need for a DRAMATIC PAUSE while a person's life was at stake? He angrily mused.

"Oh, yes yes. Well, I'm sorry to say that her injuries are life-threatening." Dr. Geoffrey responded.

Freddie's mouth hung agape: he was stunned by the news, first of all because this was his best friend the doctor was talking about, and second of all because the doctor broke the news so nonchalantly. What's wrong with him? Freddie thought. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with her? He thought. He was in shock: the previous night's doings too much to bear. The last thing he thought of before he crumpled to the floor unconscious was her.

Carly's POV

Okay, I have to admit I was a LITTLE curious about Sam. Ok, more than a little curious. I still wasn't completely clear about the facts, and this was my BEST FRIEND we were talking about here. I had every right to be worried! There was a reason I had refused to go with Freddie though: I had had a hunch, and my suspicions were confirmed the night he called me.

FLASHBACK!

_"C-Carly? Come home now. Sam..."_

_"Freddie?" "What-"_

_"Just come. Sam..." he took a shaky breath to calm himself down a little bit. "I-I will explain when I figure it out myself. All I know for sure is she got in a car accident - and I witnessed her getting hurt." his voice cracked on the last statement._

END FLASHBACK!

In those few minutes, I knew that my suspicions had been confirmed. They were in love with each other. And he thought that I didn't hear the 'secret' I love you's... All of a sudden, I heard a loud THUMP! It seemed to be coming from the hallway, and in a split second, I knew it was Freddie.

**Thanks for reading! I will try to update next Saturday, but I may be going on a trip/having a sleepover with my friend, so yeah. Also, school is starting up soon. (UGH!) **

**Thanks to all who alerted, and the most thanks to those who reviewed. Now GO REVIEW YOUR LITTLE BUTTS OFF! I work for WEEKS on each chapter perfecting it, and reviews encourage me! (:**


	11. Unconscious Thoughts

**Chapter 9**

**Unconscious Thoughts**

**Hello my readers! (wow. That was REALLY old-librarianish of me.) Anyways, here is Chapter 9. Sorry I didn't update last week! I was kinda busy and ALSO I had a tiny bit of writers block for the next few chaps. Anyways, ENJOY! (Oh yeah, and this is FINALLY a decent sized chapter! 1,216 words LOL)**

**Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I was just a 12 year old girl. That should be enough.**

SPOV

I felt weird, as if I were floating inside a dream-bubble type of thing. I had no idea if I was dead or alive or somewhere in between. And I NEEDED some form of a meat product soon! Where was I? I wasn't at my house, that was for sure. At least I'm not at school, but I need some ham NOW. I launched into a reverie of the delicacy (haha dreaming in a dream) until a voice cut deep into my thoughts. It was familiar, but I couldn't quite tell who it was or where I had heard it before. UGH! All thoughts of ham aside, (AN wow that's a first) I focused on the voices and where they were coming from. Maybe they could give me some clue as to where I was; to who I was.

FPOV

A few seconds later, I awoke on the hospital hallway floor to a steely-eyed grey-haired doctor staring down on me. Oh, this couldn't be good...

"What happened?" I managed to ask, rubbing my slightly sore head.

I felt a bit dizzy, and struggled to prop myself up into a sitting position. I knew it would be a while before his reply.

"You fainted after hearing the news of your friend Samantha Puckett. Are you alright?" the doctor asked, although he was showing no concern whatsoever. His sentence sounded more like a nonchalant statement than a question.

All the memories of last night came crashing back in a wave of remembrance. My vision blurred a little, but I was able to sit up.

I heard footsteps, and all of a sudden, Carly rushed through the door.

"What happened? I heard a noise and-" she was cut off by me.

"I... um... I kinda passed out after hearing about Sam." I replied a tad sheepishly.

"Oh my God! Are you okay? Is SHE okay?"

"I'm okay," I replied, pulling myself off the ground and brushing off some dust. "But she isn't." I added sadly.

SPOV

Okay, that's it. Who are these people? How do they know my name? Why are they talking about me? Why can't I remember anything?

FPOV

"I'm sure she will be fine," the doctor said, trying to calm me down in his usual bored tone. I had started almost hyperventilating in the hallway. "She's a strong girl, she'll pull thr-"

That was it. I was fed up with this guy. He was practically ROLLING HIS EYES at me while announcing my best friend's death! (AN practically. Freddie is over-reacting here.)

"I'm sure you say that to EVERYONE don't you? WELL GUESS WHAT? Sam will be FINE, despite you MOCKING her. She's strong. Because she has something to live for. She has me and Carly and Spencer and iCarly." I exploded, panting hard after my rant.

The doctor seemed dumbfounded, because for once he was speechless.

CPOV

Okay, he was taking this too far. I mean, I know the doctor was a bit crazy, but that doesn't mean Freddie had to go all psychopathic on him! I would intervene, but I know that Freddie has this anger building up inside of him, and I would rather he take it out on the psycho Dr. Geoffrey (who admittently KINDA deserves it) than me or Sam. (who don't) And I STILL don't completely know what's wrong with Sam! I SERIOUSLY hope she is okay. She has to be...

SPOV

As soon as he said iCarly, it all came crashing back to me. FREDDIE? What is HE doing here? And where is here? ARGH!

FPOV

The doctor moved on, apparently unfazed by the problem I had caused. "Your friend has a few broken ribs (which pierced her right lung) a broken wrist, a sprained ankle, and a nice sized gash on her forehead. She will need an operation for her rib if she ever gets stronger. It's lucky you were there or she may have bled to death. Samantha is in pretty bad shape."

Well no shit! She just was hit by a freakin van! My god, I need to get out of here before I start yelling at random nurses and slapping doctors. I know my outbursts are partly due to lack of sleep and emotional trauma and all that; but wouldn't you be upset too? This is my best friend, and this doctor is saying how she might die so nonchalantly!

"Samantha is in a coma. We don't know if she will ever come out. She only has a 20% chance of living.," he said in his usual bored tone.

FPOV

20%.. That statistic kept racing through my mind, and I couldn't speak or do anything else. 20%...

CPOV

20%...

After a good 10 minutes, I somehow managed to squeak out, "When can we see her?"

The doctor answered.

SPOV

Oh. My. God.

I was in such a shock that I couldn't even think for a fee minutes. I'm in a hospital! (Hey, I'm not THAT stupid!) I might die. I might never tell Freddie that- ... Oh hell. I'm in a COMA for God's sake! ...that I love him. There. I said it. (Well, not really, but you get what I mean!)

Finally, I got over my initial shock, and although it was still there, my fear tuned down a little and the real me came back. Only 20% huh? Well guess what. I'm going to defeat all odds of their stupid '20%' theory. And not just defeat it; I'm gonna kill it. What has math ever done for me anyways? There was a one in a billion chance that my mom would end up to be some slut. Statistics are never correct in my life! And then a thought hits me.

There was a one in a billion chance my dad would leave. There was a one in a billion chance he would die.

FPOV

After finding out the visitors hours and sensing there was nothing else to say, I spun on my heels and walked out of the hall to the waiting room; not bothering to offer a goodbye. Carly followed close behind.

I didn't want to leave her there; believe me. I know that I cannot see her until tomorrow, and I'm POSITIVE they won't let me 'camp out' here. Plus, those chairs are uncomfortable!

CPOV

"Do you think she'll be okay?" I asked timidly, still in shock.

"Yeah, I mean this is SAM PUCKETT we're talking about; the girl who knocked out a 300 pound truck driver with only a gallon of milk. She'll survive this." he sounded lost in memories and deep regret, but at least he had recovered his ability to speak.

"Do you want a ride home? Spencer will drive us." I asked politely, hoping he would say yes. I needed someone to talk to.

"No thanks," he replied. "I'm going to walk back. I need some time to clear my head." My heart sank a little. I needed a friend, but I could also see that he needed some time alone; to think about the past and sort out his feelings, so I let him be. We exited the doors and I watched him walk all the way down the street until he disappeared before I called Spencer to pick me up.

**So, did you like it? Do you think these chaps are too much about Freddie's feelings? (There will be some of Carly's in Chapter 11.) However, if you think about it, the girl that he loves AND is his best friend is in the hospital. He witnessed her get there, and he thinks that he has royally jacked up his life because if she dies he can never tell her how he feels. (wow. If that wasn't confusing I don't know what is.) So, answer that question in a review if you care! Chapter 12 or 13 will get us moving into the action, I swear!**

**So Sam only has a 20% chance of living. HMM… What will happen? Nobody knows… OH WAIT! I do! *evil cackle* And if you want to find out, REVIEW!**


	12. World So Cold aka Waiting

**Chapter 10**

**World So Cold (Waiting)**

**Hey guys! Here's Chapter 10! Its KIND OF a filler, but whatever. (are I not just such a caring author?) Also, check the bottom of this page for some AMAZING stories to R&R! (that's a command.)**

**Disclaimer: I spent hours writing and revising this chapter! (literally… hours…), and you are expecting me to make a FUNNY freakin disclaimer! You people are mental.**

FPOV

I put my PearPod on shuffle, and song after song plays on. Except I don't notice this.

In fact, I am about 5-10 minutes away from home when I realize that I have been so deep in thought I have played through about a quarter of my playlist! I decide to begin actually LISTENING to my music, just to take my mind off things, and the song that comes up next is World So Cold by Three Days Grace. Good, I need some heavier and darker type of music right now. The song seems to reflect what I'm feeling. Weird how this brainless electronic device seems to know just what I need...

The opening chords blast through my earbuds and I relax as I start to walk down the street reflecting; remembering.

_I never thought I'd feel this_

I never thought I'd feel this way towards you. I never imagined I would feel this much pain over what happened. I know this is not just because we are friends.  
><em><br>Guilty and I'm broken down inside._

I feel guilty. Guilty because of what happened to you. Why can't I shake the feeling this was all my fault? How much longer can I live like this until I break?

_Livin' with myself, nothing but lies._

He's telling himself nothing but lies, but it's all he can do. It's how they deal with the pain; the idea they may lose their best friend. (AN They meaning Carly and Freddie)

_I always thought I'd make it, but never knew I'd let it get so bad.  
><em>  
>He always thinks he'll make it through the day, and so will she. He never knew he'd let his regret and pain get so bad. He feels and IS broken; in mental and physical pain.<p>

_Living with myself is all I had._

All I can do is live with myself just the way I am. There's no use trying to pretend not to. I have to survive for her and for Carly. They are all I have, and all I will ever have. They mean so much to me; I can't let them be hurt in the way I am.

_I feel numb, I can't come to life._

Sometimes I just feel numb. Like nothing I do will ever matter. I try to pretend she never existed. I try to pretend I'm fine. But it's all a lie. And those thoughts chill me to the point of numbness.

_I feel like I'm frozen in time_.

I feel as if I am frozen in time; as if the hands of time could never move again.** (AN REVIEWER SHOUTOUT! what song is this line from? First person gets a mention (; Yeah that's right samandfreddie38. I'm looking at you.)** The calendar says that so many days have passed, but it feels as if I'm never moving, as if I could never feel alive again.

_Living in a world so cold,  
><em>  
>We all live in this world, all abide in the same land together. But life is crueler to some people more than others. Why do I have to be one of those unlucky ones? Why does she have to be one of the unlucky ones?<p>

_wasting away._

I'm wasting away; my heart slowly breaking into small pieces.

_Livin in a shell with no soul, since you've gone away.  
><em>  
>I feel like I'm barely just scraping by. I feel as if I don't deserve to live. I should have been the one hurt, not her. Ever since those 2 nights ago.<p>

_Livin in a world so cold, counting the days, since you've gone away, since you've gone away._

I'm counting the days down. Counting the days until you can come home, counting the days until we can hear you again. Counting the days until I can tell you the way I truly feel.

_Do you ever feel me? Do you ever know deep down inside._

Do you ever feel me? Can you tell the pain were all experiencing? How much we miss you; how much we need you? Can you ever tell deep down inside?

_Staring at yourself, paralyzed_.

We are all just so scared; paralyzed with fear. Scared of things we will never mention out loud, but know that we all share similar thoughts. We sit by the phone, wondering if it will ever ring.

_I feel numb, I can't come to life, I feel like I'm frozen in time._

With these thoughts, in this time, I feel so scared: so paralyzed I feel numb. I'm frozen in place awaiting a call that may never come.  
><em><br>Livin in a world so cold, wasting away.  
><em>  
>We are all wasting away, disappearing from who we once were. You held us together Sam. You brought out what never would have.<p>

_Livin in a shell with no soul, since you've gone away.  
><em>  
>We have been living in a shell with no soul. We have been trapped, but we want to stay strong and not burst out. But as the seconds tick past, that's getting harder and harder to do.<p>

_I'm too young, to lose my soul. I'm too young, to feel this old.  
><em>  
>Why does this have to happen to us? We're just kids. We don't deserve this. We really don't.<p>

And I'm home; trudging up the stairs to the eighth floor in Bushwell Plaza, ignoring Lewbert's frantic screams about how he doesn't like "moody teenagers in his lobby." Maybe tomorrow will be easier to get through. Maybe I can live with myself to see another day. I go upstairs, exhausted mentally and somehow, physically. Not bothering to change my clothes, I lay down in my bed and sleep, or rather, attempt to sleep, for the rest of the day and night. And the hardest part is knowing that I can't escape.

**TIS THE END OF ANOTHER CHAPTER! It might have been up last night, but I've been taking photos, going through my old ones, and editing my pics so I was doing that from 9 PM – 2 AM. Yeah, im obsessed. Maybe I'll put one up as my profile pic (;**

**LIVV HAVE YOU READ THIS YET? NOW COMMENT! (my friend (;) SEE! YOU'RE EVEN MAKING ME EXPLAIN TO THE WORLD WHO YOU ARE! (oh the things we do for friendship. Yeah… friendship. That's it.) **

**Thanks to all who did, now review! They make me wanna update really soon. Stories to check out: Come Home by electricstories98, Sam's Journey by (okay, I may have mentioned this before. But it is so freakin awesome that you need to check it out again. I forget the author, but just search it and you should be good.) Welcome Home Freddy Benson (yeah, its Freddie, but the author spells it Freddy) by bLACKfRIDAYE, and iLove Triangle by typewritergirl. I love this story because it's a refreshing twist on the usual Creddie/Seddie love triangle; this time its Spam/Seddie. ( But she has shifted to the grey side. (its not the most horrible (dark), its not the best(light)). Spam is actually probably the most interesting and hardest to write couple. (don't worry; im not going away from seddie anytime soon (;) So yeah, REVIEW!**


	13. the infamous AN

**Yeah, I am alive! No, this isn't an update. But there are 2 big announcements (one concerning another person, so… on with it..)**

**In regards to Running: Originally, I didn't have anything completely planned for this story. I did short (and pretty bad) updates just so I could post SOMETHING. (Oh naive little Kaitley.) I am going to finish this story, I have most of the ending (er, main ideas for it) written and everything. I just need to be able to correctly transition from the previous chapter I have written to the idea that I am currently doing. (just got an idea typing this.. xD) I am not completely sure when the next chapter will be up though. My laptop is KINDA dying a slow and painful death, and when it does fizzle out it will take a few weeks to get a new one. I am also going on a 5 month trip where there isn't any internet (well, I get it in the mornings when we go to the library, but since I will have to be doing school then…. I will try my hardest.) I originally had no idea how long the story would be (probably a TON of chapters), but now there will *most likely* be no more than 20. So, summarizing this, big plot idea cut out, will still continue story, nothing has really been mentioned about this plot idea so it won't be bad, please don't hate me, PLEASE don't stop reading, etc.**

**Half the reason I am posting this: electricstories96. His computer has basically completely died/stopped working, and so to any readers of his awesome stories: there will not be updates for a while. He says that last time it took a few weeks for it to come back (I'm assuming from the company). (I know. I'm sad too.. :'(_)**

**Don't hate me for not posting for over a month! (okay, never mind. You can hate me for that.) why is it that I think it takes .ER. when it takes an author a week to post a new chap, but when I am the one who's supposed to be posting, time flies so fast? I've been away from home a lot.. but yeah. Ignore my excuses. A new chap. should be up soon. **


	14. Chapter 14!

**Long time no see… There's a bunch of random stuff going on in this chapter, and it's definitely not my best, but I'm working really hard on getting the last couple chaps together and stuff, so I'm just trying to get to there… kind of a filler. This is 2 chaps in one, so hopefully it makes sense. **

**Disclaimer: If I was Dan Schneider, I wouldn't be chewing (disgusting) bubblegum and listening to Panic! At the Disco and Anberlin right now, would I?**

**It's about 11-12 AM by the time Freddie is up. **

FPOV

I didn't have the best sleep in the world that afternoon/night. But when I eventually did drift off, it was a dark, dreamless sleep; fitful and interrupted by nightmares so often I barely got 8 hours of it.

I wake up in my own bed, still fully clothed and wondering why there are no sounds of meat being attacked or locks being picked next door. At least I felt a little bit better, having slept in my own bed. In my sleepy stupor, I stumble over to Carly's in my pajamas. I just make it to the hallway only to be hit by the hard truth like a sack of bricks or her butter-sock in my face.

It all comes crashing down on me: and it's all too much for a single morning. I lean my head against the cool cement wall just trying to stop the pounding in my head and the blurriness clouding my vision. I stay like this for only a few minutes, but it feels like forever. Each second that passes feels like centuries. Lifetimes without HER.

And then I remember that I have to meet Carly at the hospital to see her. I slowly walk back to my apartment, because I at least have to shower and get changed. I have to make it through the days one by one, not just for me; but for her and everyone important in our lives.

My mind won't focus on anything else. Even when I'm not trying; my thoughts unconsciously drift towards those few nights we shared; whether they were amazing or horrifying.

The first time she kissed me.

The first time we kissed on the fire escape, it was just plain amazing. We were both so naive. That could NEVER be a one-time thing. Life just doesn't work that way. I just didn't know how she truly felt about me; or me about her for that matter. We were both just barely teenagers. We claimed we kissed to 'get it over with,' but I really think- KNOW that it meant so much more than that. (AN Freddie isn't getting confident Sam loves him here, it's just because Sam kissed him again. He has no idea how she feels, really.)

The second time.

The second time at the lock-in, SHE kissed ME. I was too shocked to kiss back; but I knew I loved her then. I'm just not 100% sure how she feels. I mean, sure, she kissed me AGAIN, but she ran off after that. Was it just a spur of the moment thing?

The Accident.

And now... That night. The most recent event in our (everyone as a whole)'s journey through life. I needed a chance to tell her how I feel... And now; I don't know if that chance will ever come.

She didn't conform to society; and that's how I liked her. She didn't want to blend in and match up with what everyone thought everyone else should be. I lived off of our fighting, which had now turned into playful teasing. Maybe even flirtatious? ...no, that's pushing it.

After I have showered, changed, and eaten what I could force down, I put on the bravest face I could muster and walk over to the Shay's house.

I enter the house, not bothering to knock. Nobody really does. It's just an unspoken rule around here. It's quiet in the house without her here. There is no noise whatsoever, and nobody is in the kitchen or living room.

I walk upstairs, calling Carly's name. Where is she? I suddenly, just barely, hear a faint sniffling sound, and it's coming from the studio. I enter and see Carly sitting cross-legged on the floor; wrapped in a blanket with a box of tissues next to her. Episodes of iCarly are replaying on the screen. I enter quietly, but I can tell she already knows I'm there.

"Carly?" I ask, my voice soft.

She answers me through her not-so-silent sobbing.

"Fr-Freddie?"

"Shh. It's okay" I respond, sitting down and rubbing circles on her back; soothing her. In that moment I realized how selfish I had been. I had walked home all by myself, leaving her alone with Spencer, who although loved Sam like another little sister, acted extremely childish most of the time. I had completely forgotten: i was too tired to comprehend much. Sam was as much a friend to her as to me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, my voice and heart both full of regret.

I look into her eyes and see deep sadness, and fear even, but searching a little deeper i also see understanding; forgiveness. She knows what I am talking about, and we just sit there together for a while, remembering. (AN Need help with Carly)

"20%.. It's too small. What if-" she starts to ask, talking quickly, but I cut her off there. There are so many what if's; too many of them with outcomes i don't even want to imagine. I just don't want to think about it. I can't.

"Carly?" I ask timidly, "We can see her today. Are you up to going to the hospital?"

"I don't know," she whispers through her sobs, and I know that there is that unanswered question again; 'what if?' what if she dies? What if we can never see her again?

She contemplates a moment longer, than responds in a whisper; so low I can barely hear it. "Okay. For her."

We sit there for a few more minutes, just for the sake of being together. We know that we have each other, and we need our friendship to last. We will pull through; together. Don't get me wrong; a long time ago I had stopped pining after her and started loving Sam. Carly was like a sister to me now: I knew and still know now that we (Carly and Freddie) will never be together in love; but always as friends. (AN was that over-explaining? Probably...)

Suddenly she gets up to get ready, startling me. But then she turns once she reaches the door.

"Hey Freddie? Thanks." she quietly says. I give her a small smile in return, but there is still a trace of sadness in it I can tell. I turn off the lights and the television, sighing sadly before I head downstairs to wait for Carly.

CPOV

I tried to be strong, I really did. And for a while; I had. We were both paralyzed with fear in the hospital, but I didn't let it show. Why? I don't know. I guess that I hide my pain from others so they don't have to see it or feel worse.

But that night, it overcame me. I just couldn't sleep. I kept having these... nightmares. There was no way to stop them. In every single one of them, she just disappeared. No goodbyes.

I guess that's what I'm really afraid of. Not being able to say goodbye if-

I can't even think straight. Whether its from lack of sleep or grief I don't know. I just sat up all night in the studio, remembering the good times we had together. Memories kept resurfacing. The nightmares just wouldn't end.

Chapter12

A half an hour later, Carly walked downstairs, looking as if she had never been crying. How does she do that? I wondered.

"Spencer!" she called.

"WHAAAT?" he yelled. "IM IN THE SHOWER! SOCKO AND I WERE CAMPING AND-"

"Never mind!" she shouted back, and then muttered to Freddie as an afterthought, "I don't even want to know."

"We're going to the hospital to see Sam!" she called, voice showing almost no sounds of emotion; almost being the key word. I glanced at her reassuringly (or as reassuringly as i could); to prove that we were there for each other. I could tell that she still wasn't fully okay. But who would be after all that had happened?

"OKAY! ILL MEET YOU THERE SOON!" he shouted back.

It being October, and still a bit chilly, (how to explain school?) we grabbed our jackets and headed out.

The hospital was pretty close, about a half hour walk; 45 minutes with the route we were taking. I couldn't go near that street. Not yet. Not without her; healthy and beside me. Why couldn't this have all been a bad dream?

We walked in total silence. Out of nowhere, Carly reached out and grabbed my hand.

If this were any other day, I wasn't sleep deprived, and Sam wasn't in the- never mind. If that hadn't happened, this day would have never come. Anyways, since my mind was still fuzzy on everything, I took her hand-grabbing as a sign of affection; not as a comforting gesture.

"C-Carly?" I smiled nervously, instantly pulling away. "I-I don't... like you 'that way' anymore and-"

"It's okay." she replied. "I know."

My jaw dropped. WHAT? How does she know that I'm in love with- wait. Pull yourself together Freddie. She might not know that you-

"...and I jnow that you are in love with- with... Sam." she stuttered, whispering HER name at the end.

"B-but how do you know?" I managed to stutter out. Boy was I confused. And tired. And probably depressed.

"So you admit it!" Carly answered. This discussion WAS a little stupid, but also a milestone in our lives, despite how cliche and cheesy that sounds. Plus, we needed something to get our minds off of things. (um. Hello? Discussion about her isn't really helping!)

"Whatever..." I trailed off rubbing my temples; exasperated and not wanting to further continue the conversation. Thankfully, Carly the hint, and we sank into silence for the rest of the walk.

THE HOSPITAL

10 minutes later, we arrived at the hospital. After checking in at the reception desk, we were given directions to her room. We were just about there when Carly announced she was scared. "Me too." I admitted. "But we have to do this-..." my words trailed off when we saw a doctor or nurse, it was hard to tell which, standing just outside of HER room. He or she was scribbling some notes down on a clipboard. As we got closer, we could tell that it (thankfully) wasn't the neurotic Dr. Geoffrey this time. Instead, her nametag read... Nurse Benson? (AN Mrs. Benson did not go in Sam's room.)

I grabbed Carly's wrist, and we quickly ducked behind a wall. "She can't see us here!" I exclaimed in a hushed tone, brows furrowing in annoyance. (AN at his mom/the situation.) "We're supposed to be in school! Plus, she thinks that hospitals aren't clean enough for 'little boys' or whatever!" I said, putting air quotes around little boys and, afterwards, making a crazy fluttering hand motion. (AN like in the second or third season theme song I think.)

"FREDDIE! Calm. Down. We will just wait until she's gone, and then-" she stopped abruptly, because as she peered around the corner, Carly realized that Mrs. Benson was already gone. Well that was easier than expected, I thought. But are we ready for this?

We walked into the hallways once again, and my shaking hand reached out and grasped the doorknob as firmly as I could. I quiet and carefully opened the thin door; heart racing.

**Anybody notice how they never say Sam's name? Random thing… haha. Yeah, I know. Nothing really happened, and I reward you with a creddie moment in this chapter after such a long wait. (rolls eyes at self) BUT… Sam is in a coma, so how the heck could I do a seddie moment? (rhetorical question, my friends. Rhetorical question.) So yeah, hope you enjoyed, and I actually wrote this a while ago, but I didn't see anything TOO annoying in here. The Mrs. Benson thing was kind of odd, but I think that it kind of revealed Freddie and Carly's tension. (funny way of doing that, huh.) I hope everything was coherent…**

**Anyways, next chapter, they see Sam for the first time. (I… actually have to write most of the next chapter, but eh.) We are nearing the end here… I think about.. *pauses Pray Tell* no more than 5 chapters. I am already working on the revised version, and I don't know when it should be up, but… review please? If I get… lets see.. how about as soon as I hit 10 I will update? (lets see if we can do this! I will update anyways, but it will be a TON sooner if I do it as soon as I hit 10.)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello! Here's the next chapter.. Its short, but if you all review I have the next chapter written up… and I'll post it later tonight!**

**Disclaimer: I'm tired of thinking of sarcastic disclaimers. You win, Dan.**

Carly gazed around the room, pretending to examine random hospital items such as a glass of water on the small bedside table or the bulletin board behind the bed; critiquing the photos that had been carefully tacked on there by previous patients with a critical eye. But my gaze landed straight on her.

She was broken. Mentally, and physically, and everything else in-between and not. That was the only word that could describe her.

Broken.

She was so pale, so fragile. Thoughts raced through his mind, never-failing to make his heart beat just a little faster.

And I've never been a particularly religious person, but I was praying as much as I knew how sitting here by her bedside, pleading for her to be okay. I couldn't lose her again. (((But is she already gone?)))

You've been through so much. You have survived it all. All of it! You can't give up now! Please, Sam, please! I need you.

I need you.

And Carly, finally daring to steal a glance, was much in the same way he was.

I finally dared to look; to steal a glance at her.

And it was so horrid to see her this way. Why did this have to happen to her? To us?

She was SAM PUCKETT. She was supposed to be.. So… energetic! And eating fatcakes and ham and bacon and destroying property and- I couldn't take it anymore. I sank to my knees in the dark, silent corner: tears silently rolling down my face and blurring my vision.

**Anyways, I know that I'm switching POVs too much… oh well. I hope you all enjoyed, and remember; if you review, I'll post the next chapter later tonight!**


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